This past weekend my twins, Julia and Caroline, graduated from college. It was finally here. Four years (or 22, really!) in the making.
The weekend promised to be everything we’d hoped it would be. The weather was perfect, the fun swag I ordered from Etsy arrived on time and in one piece, and—bonus—the Knicks won the night before, marking their return to the Eastern Division Finals for the first time in 25 years!
We were comin’ into the weekend hot!
The graduation festivities were organized down to the last minute: lunch with Caroline’s friends, dInner with Julia’s friends, graduation ceremony #1, family brunch, graduation ceremony #2, farewell brunch, and so on and so on—for three days and nights.
…but as the old Yiddish adage goes, “Man plans, and G-d laughs.”
The moment we arrived, the reality set in:
The kids were finishing up senior week; absolutely exhausted after seven nights of partying on literally no sleep.
My dad was able to come (which we were over the moon about), but the restaurant we chose didn’t have access for his wheelchair so it took four people to get him into the restaurant.
We argued about how many family photos and in what configurations we ACTUALLY needed.
Bottom line: it was messy. Because humans are messy. But, I decided to do what I teach all great human leaders to do: lean into the messy and bring my human to graduation weekend.
So what did that look like?
First, I was vulnerable. I didn’t know the perfect way to be or act this weekend. I told my girls after getting in “trouble” for doing or saying the wrong thing that I was doing my best. This was my first college graduation as a mom.
Second, I tried to be empathetic. At lunch, my sister and I shared our own stories of how hard it was when college ended for us and all the feelings we had when we drove away that last time. I get it—it’s hard. And it’s okay and expected that emotions were running wild.
Third, I decided to approach the weekend through the lens of experimentation. As I said things and did things that were “wrong,” I tried something else!
At the end of the weekend, after hours and hours and hours of moving boxes, cleaning out drawers, throwing away old pizza crusts, I realized that the real takeaway for my girls wasn’t in the graduation speeches, or the ceremony, or all the pomp and circumstance.
The takeaway would be this (aka, my advice if I were asked to actually give a commencement speech):
To Julia and Caroline (and the rest of the graduates of the Class of 2025), you are graduating into a world of economic uncertainty, fast paced technological advances, political division, and a world in which the jobs you are starting THIS summer may well be given to AI by the end of the year. In other words, the world is a mess.
You can work hard, and plan and organize all you want, but the reality is, life will always be messy. But it’s how you deal with the mess that will both define and differentiate you.
And if you find yourself in a moment of uncertainty, when in doubt, Bring Your Human to everything you do. Especially in the Age of AI. I can’t wait to see all the places you’ll go.
Congratulations on all of your hard work and your graduation.
Love,
Mom
5/21/25
